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The Utopian Homeschool

Yes homeschooling is a dream come true for many families. The Utopian Homeschool looks humorously at some of those moments that might not be so dream-like.

Homeschool Chef

All Pencils Are Sharpened and In Their Correct Place at the Beginning and End of Every Day

Yes, there is nothing I love better than seeing all the writing utensils neatly organized. I actually have a container for
  • pencils
  • pens
  • markers
  • colored pencils
  • thin markers
That, of course, is in addition to the crayons and thick markers.

I like sharpened pencils to be sticking up so you can see at a glance that they are sharp and ready for use. The dull and broken leads should be facing down. That way, once a week I can grab the pencils that need to be sharpened and get them ready for the coming week without checking every pencil.

Now, guess how well the kids cooperate with this? You got it. I'm lucky if they get things on the right shelf, and forget whether they get the right container. The right direction? Ha, I bet none of them would ever have noticed.

You Don't Need to Remind Your Kids to Brush Their Teeth Before School Every Morning

Ahh, the lovely aroma of bad breath. Really makes me want to get up close and personal to explain the intricate math problem. If they went to school would they brusth their teeth? I don't think I want to know the answer to that one.

There are No Bad Hair Days or Slow Computer Days

No doubt tha second one is worse than the first. I mean, I don't have to look at myself but a slow computer is quite a strain on my nerves. I know I sound ancient, but I was homeschooling BEFORE the days of computers. Yep, I actually went to a library and looked up all those books on a card catalog. So what am I complaining for if it takes an extra minute to log into the library account? I've gotten so used to the fast paced computer age I can't even slow down for a slow computer.

You Never Run Out of Toilet Paper During School Hours

Does this ever happen to anyone else? I mean, should you really stop homeschooling to drive to the store to get toilet paper. Yes, advance planning would solve this problem. I do plan in advance, honest. But someone must have broken into the house and stollen all the toilet paper last night. Great! I just discovered half a box of Kleenex from last winter under the sink.

You Are Ready For Every Holiday Way In Advance

Of course, homeschooling would never cause you to be behind in your holiday planning, right? Here again, I like to be up-to-speed and ready-in-advance. But my inevitable failures at planning everything are laughable.

My worse relapse? The Christmas I forgot Christmas dinner. Yep, I was so busy with the kids' gifts and visiting my husband's parishioners, etc. etc. One of them asked, "Do you eat turkey, or ham, or both for your dinner?" My husband and I looked at each other and laughed. We made homemade pizza on Christmas and then had our formal Christmas Dinner on December 26. We liked it so much we continued that tradition for several years. So you see, even planning lapses can have their own reward.

Sibling Rivalry Is Only A Spelling Word

My favorite was two kids arguing over who owned a particular bracelet. They were similar, but one had lost theirs and both claimed the one on hand. The bracelet: WWJD.

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